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Do you have questions about interpersonal relationships? Get and give advice on friendships, marriage, and romance here.
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Sandra
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Post by Sandra »

You can't help who you fall in love with, can you?

pilvikki
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Post by pilvikki »

nope.

more's the pity!
Somebody's boring me. I think it's me.

Dylan Thomas (1914-53)

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legend
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Post by legend »

i have tried .
lol


:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
We know that I'm a drunk. I hope you understand that I am a person who is totally at ease with that. Which is not to say that I'm indifferent or I don't care, I do. It simply means that I trust and accept your judgment.

Silke
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Post by Silke »

only to some point.... that point is more when realizing you fell in love with an image instead of the person, and the person isn't worth it because of diffrences/likness whatever...
Superstition brings bad luck.

haysi
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Post by haysi »

No, I dont fall in love easily and when I do its very deeply. I am always wary of people - always have been. I am loyal but will not be taken for a fool. Erm well maybe I will, LOL. "the hardest part of loving someone is watching them love someone else" that kind of sums up how I feel just now.
"There is nothing in the world more shameful than establishing one's self on lies and fables.”
J W von Goeth

salamandrina
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Post by salamandrina »

I guess not, specially if the other person shows some intrest in you too(which can be friendship only intrest off course and than you(me) can missinterpret it....
freedom

ohlia
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Post by ohlia »

I think a person of sound mind can control their emotions; if someone is a brilliant, sexy, gorgeous looking person with bad attitude, I definitely will stay far away from them. I will not want them for a friend, furthermore a lover ...
You calling me stupid do not make me stupid; it makes you a person calling me stupid.

MargeC
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Post by MargeC »

I don't want to be part of any club that would have someone like me as a member.

meadow
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Post by meadow »

of course you can!!!! you can control how you REACT to feelings you might have for another person. you can choose to not cheat or lie or act in a way that might negatively impact your relationship. especially when you are already in another relationship with someone else.

i don't believe in love at first sight. i do not believe you 'can't help who you love'. you can and should. jumping in is just stupid and a bad idea all around. i speak from experience. never again will i be willing to be a trusting idiot who believes what comes out of someone's mouth right off the bat. i want proof of loyalty and honesty before i decide to truly waste my time!

if you want to be involved with someone you need to make sure that you aren't going to hurt someone else in the process. you need to make sure that you aren't lying, cheating, going behind someone's back or being dishonest to that person.
"i hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out, you selfish son of a bitch!" ~Wedding Crashers

Sandra
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Post by Sandra »

I asked

Sandra wrote:You can't help who you fall in love with, can you?


you said:

MargeC wrote:I don't want to be part of any club that would have someone like me as a member.


you've lost me on this one?? :confused:

MargeC
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Post by MargeC »

meadow wrote:of course you can!!!! you can control how you REACT to feelings you might have for another person. you can choose to not cheat or lie or act in a way that might negatively impact your relationship. especially when you are already in another relationship with someone else.

i don't believe in love at first sight. i do not believe you 'can't help who you love'. you can and should. jumping in is just stupid and a bad idea all around. i speak from experience. never again will i be willing to be a trusting idiot who believes what comes out of someone's mouth right off the bat. i want proof of loyalty and honesty before i decide to truly waste my time!

if you want to be involved with someone you need to make sure that you aren't going to hurt someone else in the process. you need to make sure that you aren't lying, cheating, going behind someone's back or being dishonest to that person.

you talk sense meadow

MargeC
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Post by MargeC »

Sandra wrote:I asked

Sandra wrote:You can't help who you fall in love with, can you?


you said:

MargeC wrote:I don't want to be part of any club that would have someone like me as a member.


you've lost me on this one?? :confused:


some people like going or trying to go with people that present a challenge to them or snub them, the moment the object of their affection concedes and admits a mutual attraction is the moment they stop wanting them. Unattainability is a cue that represents desirability.

Sandra
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Post by Sandra »

MargeC wrote:
some people like going or trying to go with people that present a challenge to them or snub them, the moment the object of their affection concedes and admits a mutual attraction is the moment they stop wanting them. Unattainability is a cue that represents desirability.


oh right, I've got you now..................so very true :roll:

meadow
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Post by meadow »

love in books, movies and television isn't the love that is what occurs in the real world. people are much more understanding, forgiving and nice on celluloid. we get this idea in our heads that isn't realistic much less attainable.

all you can hope for is that you are always true and honest about who you are and what you want. hopefully, it works out the other person sees that in you and appreciates it for the gift it can be for them. people in real life are dishonest, sneaky, closed down, closed off, and disloyal. they are selfish, self centered and self conscious.

all you can control is YOURSELF and YOUR reactions. you can ultimately "choose" how you present your actions to someone else. you can choose to be a better person and not give into the lies, cheating or whatever the case may be from the other person.

never again will i believe in the things someone just states to me. i want to see ACTION and sincerity in that action. i want PROOF! no more just trusting in love and all that other rot we fall for.

if you want it bad enough you'll justify any action to get to it. that's the problem. most people feel love is the most noble of emotions to "fight for" and that love can and will conquer all.

it doesn't and it won't. you can conquer love though! you can choose to be cautious and make sure it's something that is truly the right thing for you and the other person involved. and when it isn't? being honest about it and getting the hell out! and not feeling guilty when it doesn't work out and you choose to move on.

i made that mistake once. i won't ever make it again! i know the reality of love and it's consequences now. it's not worth it in my opinion. i'll stick to my family and good friends and the love they have for me! "romantic love" can kiss my big fat butt. ;-)
"i hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out, you selfish son of a bitch!" ~Wedding Crashers

Sandra
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Post by Sandra »

meadow wrote:love in books, movies and television isn't the love that is what occurs in the real world. people are much more understanding, forgiving and nice on celluloid. we get this idea in our heads that isn't realistic much less attainable.

all you can hope for is that you are always true and honest about who you are and what you want. hopefully, it works out the other person sees that in you and appreciates it for the gift it can be for them. people in real life are dishonest, sneaky, closed down, closed off, and disloyal. they are selfish, self centered and self conscious.

all you can control is YOURSELF and YOUR reactions. you can ultimately "choose" how you present your actions to someone else. you can choose to be a better person and not give into the lies, cheating or whatever the case may be from the other person.

never again will i believe in the things someone just states to me. i want to see ACTION and sincerity in that action. i want PROOF! no more just trusting in love and all that other rot we fall for.

if you want it bad enough you'll justify any action to get to it. that's the problem. most people feel love is the most noble of emotions to "fight for" and that love can and will conquer all.

it doesn't and it won't. you can conquer love though! you can choose to be cautious and make sure it's something that is truly the right thing for you and the other person involved. and when it isn't? being honest about it and getting the hell out! and not feeling guilty when it doesn't work out and you choose to move on.

i made that mistake once. i won't ever make it again! i know the reality of love and it's consequences now. it's not worth it in my opinion. i'll stick to my family and good friends and the love they have for me! "romantic love" can kiss my big fat butt. ;-)


I know you've been hurt in the past meadow, thats why I know this is good honest advice. Thanks :)

meadow
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Post by meadow »

you're welcome. i'm not sure your exact situation so i try to keep it generalized.
"i hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out, you selfish son of a bitch!" ~Wedding Crashers

Silke
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Post by Silke »

meadow wrote:love in books, movies and television isn't the love that is what occurs in the real world. people are much more understanding, forgiving and nice on celluloid. we get this idea in our heads that isn't realistic much less attainable.

all you can hope for is that you are always true and honest about who you are and what you want. hopefully, it works out the other person sees that in you and appreciates it for the gift it can be for them. people in real life are dishonest, sneaky, closed down, closed off, and disloyal. they are selfish, self centered and self conscious.

all you can control is YOURSELF and YOUR reactions. you can ultimately "choose" how you present your actions to someone else. you can choose to be a better person and not give into the lies, cheating or whatever the case may be from the other person.

never again will i believe in the things someone just states to me. i want to see ACTION and sincerity in that action. i want PROOF! no more just trusting in love and all that other rot we fall for.

if you want it bad enough you'll justify any action to get to it. that's the problem. most people feel love is the most noble of emotions to "fight for" and that love can and will conquer all.

it doesn't and it won't. you can conquer love though! you can choose to be cautious and make sure it's something that is truly the right thing for you and the other person involved. and when it isn't? being honest about it and getting the hell out! and not feeling guilty when it doesn't work out and you choose to move on.

i made that mistake once. i won't ever make it again! i know the reality of love and it's consequences now. it's not worth it in my opinion. i'll stick to my family and good friends and the love they have for me! "romantic love" can kiss my big fat butt. ;-)


I´m impressed. I actually agree with you on almost every point. I´m stil young enugh to belive you can live out your life in love with someone. There is a but, though... allways a but. You need to be inlove with that person and not the image you make of who that person is supposed to be. that is the hard part.
Superstition brings bad luck.

meadow
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Post by meadow »

yep. but it's like my mother always told me....

"life ain't fair or easy!"

and it's so true. :)
"i hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out, you selfish son of a bitch!" ~Wedding Crashers

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