School Answering Machine

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School Answering Machine

Postby ashes13 » Mon Aug 06, 2007 7:39 am

This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School
(California) staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine.
This is the actual answering machine message for the school. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework.
The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their
children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those
children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not
complete enough schoolwork to pass their classes.

The outgoing message:

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school.
In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please
listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2

To complain about what we do - Press 3

To swear at staff members - Press 4

To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your
newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone -Press 7

To request another teacher, for the third time this year -Press 8

To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

To complain about school lunches - Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable
and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that
it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up
and have a nice day!

If you want this in Spanish, you must be in the wrong country.
<i>I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common? </i>

~Ashleigh Brilliant~
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Postby angel » Mon Aug 06, 2007 7:56 am

understanding is a three edged sword.
your side, their side, and the truth.
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Postby Yogi » Mon Aug 06, 2007 8:02 am

It may never have happened, but my daughter is a school teacher who certainly would appreciate that kind of answering system on her school's telephone line.
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.
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Postby ashes13 » Mon Aug 06, 2007 8:42 am



I stand corrected.

Apologies for passing along something I found amusing, even if it is false.
<i>I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common? </i>

~Ashleigh Brilliant~
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Postby bermbits » Mon Aug 06, 2007 8:56 am

False or not, I don't think people realize there is much truth spoken in jest. As I am still enjoying my summer recuperation for another couple of weeks, I will refrain from the rant I feel building inside. I will say, though, it seems the last thing school is about is education.
"Veritas et probitas super omnia."
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Postby meadow » Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:30 pm

but somehow people still look upon those who choose homeschooling as only religious nuts or worse! but if i would have been insane enough to have kids, there's no way i'd send them to a public school. pfft.
"i hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out, you selfish son of a bitch!" ~Wedding Crashers
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Postby haysi » Thu Aug 09, 2007 7:48 am

:lol: That reminds me of the psychiatrists answer machine.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

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If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.
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If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

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If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, so just stay on the line so we can trace your call.
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If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

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If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
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If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press because nobody will answer.

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If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
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If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

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If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
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If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

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If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
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If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you.
"There is nothing in the world more shameful than establishing one's self on lies and fables.”
J W von Goeth
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