Is it just me?

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Is it just me?

Postby Lore » Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:30 am

I've used forums and chat sites for roughly 6 years now and in that time I have given away my mobile number, met quite a few people, swapped addresses with some people etc etc...

I had a stalker (for want of a better word) someone who just couldn't understand that he'd taken the freindship way to far and had blown it all out of proportion, I'd never met him, we only spoke once on the phone but had chatted online for quite a while as we shared similar interests. It got to the point I had to change my number, my e-mail & my log in details all because I didn't want anything more.

So because of this person I'm very careful who I give my details to these days, it's so much easier to not give anything away.

ANYWAY - the point of my post is this..

I've been asked many times to phone people and basically prove my identity as

1) a female
2) real
3) not another member pretending to be someone else.

Now I know some people are just being friendly and want to say hello but should I have to live with this constant - prove yourself attitude?
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Postby emanresu » Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:53 am

You have no obligation to prove anything to anyone. If someone can't take you at face value, then either they have issues or they have other designs not in your best interests. If someone is to the point that they must know whether you are male or female, then, in most cases, they are probably demonstrating more interest than is healthy.
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Postby whiffey » Tue Jan 09, 2007 8:18 am

A serious point, and no you shouldn't have to prove yourself. If you are put upon like this, you did the right thing to drop it.

The whole area of online identity fascinates me and is occasionally hilarious.

Where it spills over into the real world then you must become you. I have made a tiny handful of I hope close friends as a result of messageboards.

Online though, nearly anything goes. There is a rigid rule however - no nastiness, and nobody gets hurt.
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Postby haysi » Tue Jan 09, 2007 8:26 am

I rarely give my telephone number to anyone and rarely get any in return. I have a handful of people on messenger.

However I do know folks who have a lot of online friends who they chat to on the phone frequently.

I am now very cautious about who I speak to because of an experience I had when I was deceived.

Its my choice for now, maybe I will lighten up :biggrin:
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Postby Gill » Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:51 am

You shouldn't have to prove yourself to anyone Lore. It seems to me that the people who insist you prove who you are, are the ones with the problem hunni x
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Postby Silke » Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:06 pm

I agree with the rest... "proving" yourself because someone demands it is a nice way of getting another "stalker".

personally I never give away my number online, even rearly my email. My sister has met two people who have made her sleep with a knife under her pillow, I plan on never experiencing such a thing.

...heck! I don't even send my picture!
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Postby Sandra » Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:21 pm

I totally agree, you shouldn't have to prove yourself to anyone Lore if you want to give someone your number or email or home address thats your decision and if you don't they should respect that and stop going on at you to prove yourself to them. I have made a handful of good friends on line and off who I speak to on the phone or text and it was my choice to give them my number.
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Postby legend » Tue Jan 09, 2007 5:49 pm

i agree with sandra.
if anyone is insisting then dont.
youve gotta be careful .
its a crazy world out there.
with a lot of crazy people.
We know that I'm a drunk. I hope you understand that I am a person who is totally at ease with that. Which is not to say that I'm indifferent or I don't care, I do. It simply means that I trust and accept your judgment.
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Postby Sandra » Tue Jan 09, 2007 6:18 pm

:omg: :omg: :omg: you agree with me legend
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Postby pilvikki » Tue Jan 09, 2007 8:46 pm

how do people get into these on-line problems...? hm... i've given my phone number away to some and i chat with people from all over the globe. not that many, mind you, i'm not that fond of the telephone.

maybe age has it's benefits after all, who'd be stalking a granny?

:roll:

and yes, i was deceived as well, but it was not meant in a malicious sense, just what the person thought best at the time. i was shocked when i found out, but it's now just water off a penguin's back.
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Postby legend » Tue Jan 09, 2007 9:00 pm

a clever old bird eh?
We know that I'm a drunk. I hope you understand that I am a person who is totally at ease with that. Which is not to say that I'm indifferent or I don't care, I do. It simply means that I trust and accept your judgment.
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Re: Is it just me?

Postby ohlia » Tue Jan 09, 2007 9:29 pm

Lore wrote:I've used forums and chat sites for roughly 6 years now and in that time I have given away my mobile number, met quite a few people, swapped addresses with some people etc etc...

I had a stalker (for want of a better word) someone who just couldn't understand that he'd taken the freindship way to far and had blown it all out of proportion, I'd never met him, we only spoke once on the phone but had chatted online for quite a while as we shared similar interests. It got to the point I had to change my number, my e-mail & my log in details all because I didn't want anything more.

So because of this person I'm very careful who I give my details to these days, it's so much easier to not give anything away.

ANYWAY - the point of my post is this..

I've been asked many times to phone people and basically prove my identity as

1) a female
2) real
3) not another member pretending to be someone else.

Now I know some people are just being friendly and want to say hello but should I have to live with this constant - prove yourself attitude?

I had a similar situation. At first I declined giving someone my number, but then (I am so ashamed to say) I caved and give it to them. This sound so stupid, but at the time I was so pressured because the person was very dramatic and spoke about ending their life, and asked to speak on the phone. I thought I might be able to help in some way by talking to them. Long story short, we had no conversation about them, and would you believe the jerk still did not believe that I am who I say I am. This would never, ever happen again because under no circumstances would I give out my number.

I totally agree with everything you all said on here.
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Postby pilvikki » Wed Jan 10, 2007 12:19 am

nobody, but nobody needs to prove anything on line! how does one know that the person at the other end is who s/he appears to be? like hello!

personally i'm way too lazy to try to keep up a different persona from my own. too absentminded as well.
Somebody's boring me. I think it's me.

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