You've gotta be f*ckin' kiddin' me!

What fries your fritters? Almost anything goes here. Rant, rave, and get it off your chest. Topics may be controversial and contain adult content. THIS FORUM MAY CONTAIN PROFANITY

Postby Bedford » Fri Mar 09, 2007 4:40 pm

It was 71 degrees outside. I wore shorts today.
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<i>"This is the greatest concentration of talent and genius, except for those times when Bedford eats alone.”</i>-- JFK, were he alive today.
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Postby Valleysailor » Tue Mar 13, 2007 10:43 am

The projected high today for my town: 82 lovely sunshiny degrees. I will be off work tomorrow and Thursday and plan to be OUTSIDE, digging in the dirt, and hauling some cow manure! It takes a little shit to make the flowers pretty!
There is no education in the second kick of the mule.
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Postby spithray » Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:07 pm

I was driving the women's football team the other day. I drove seven hours to Cardiff with the intention of staying one night in a hotel then driving seven hours home the following day. The hotel booking got fucked up (as usual) and I had to share with the team coach. Only problem is he snores like a fucking freight train! And I mean I've never heard anything like it in my life! Anyway, upshot of this is I had 2 hours sleep before making the return drive. "You gotta be fucking kidding me!"
Rose: If you're an alien, why do you sound like you're from the north?
Doctor: Lots of planets have a north.
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Postby Nathaniel » Sun Mar 18, 2007 7:13 pm

Just when I recovered from the flu, I got a nasty infection in my body.

Also, it snowed today. Which means I hate the world because I want spring.
"Homophobia - the irrational fear that homosexuals will move in and rearrange your furniture against your will."
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Postby AJRC_CS » Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:14 am

Woo hoo it just snowed. :woot:

Ok, so only three snow flakes fell, but it snowed. That's three days of snow we've had this winter, lets hope we get more than three days of sun in summer.
The ignorant close their mind and convince themselves that there's only one truth. The wise keep an open mind to the different possibilities leading to and stemming from the present. Look not with your eyes but with your mind.
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Postby AJRC_CS » Tue Mar 20, 2007 4:11 pm

Scratch what i said this morning, it has absolutely p*ssed it down with snow tonight. I'm dreaming of a white March. :D
The ignorant close their mind and convince themselves that there's only one truth. The wise keep an open mind to the different possibilities leading to and stemming from the present. Look not with your eyes but with your mind.
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Postby Sarah » Tue May 08, 2007 12:07 pm

Ben and Jerry's was giving away free ice cream so my friends and I decided to get some. We waited in line for about 40 min. and the moment we got it, it started raining all over our free scoops! I live w/in walking distance, but decided to spend money to take the metro back to my place to avoid the pouring rain, and the moment I stepped outside the metro, it was sunny! You gotta be f*ckin kidding me!

Also: Strange Spanish guys dragging me into bathrooms and trying to have sex with me. I'm sorry, no. You've gotta be joking.
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Postby StVandal » Tue May 08, 2007 12:46 pm

I've been looking all over the place for the last 2 months for a cheap Carhartt jacket, and I couldn't find one anywhere for under $65. I even checked thrift stores for a used one.. no luck.
Then one of my regulars came in yesterday and was talking about how he scored all this construction equipment at a yard sale. Then he said "Hey, do you want a Carhartt jacket? It's yours if it fits." It did, and hey.. new Carhartt jacket! He got it for $2.

Are you f*ckin' kiddin' me?
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
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Postby Valleysailor » Fri Jun 01, 2007 5:55 pm

My lovely niece who has been living with me along with her two boys aged 4 & 7, moved out yesterday into her apartment. It's $399. a month (I know - that's incredibly cheap here, too!) but honestly, the whole apartment (I can't believe they even call it that!) is not as big as my kitchen. The carpet was damp, the A/C was not cooling, the maintenance guy hit on her (hard!!), and there were no lightbulbs in any socket - well, there were only two sockets, kitchen and bath. You've got to be f*cking kiddin' me ...
There is no education in the second kick of the mule.
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Postby meadow » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:44 pm

the hope that some people would just leave was dashed. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????

if you want to leave, just go and leave. *giant eyeroll insert here*
"i hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out, you selfish son of a bitch!" ~Wedding Crashers
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Postby Valleysailor » Thu Jun 21, 2007 2:32 pm

Sh*t, sh*t, SH*T!!!!! I knew it was too good to be true ...
There is no education in the second kick of the mule.
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Postby meadow » Thu Jun 21, 2007 5:09 pm

i know! YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!
"i hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out, you selfish son of a bitch!" ~Wedding Crashers
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Postby bea » Thu Jun 21, 2007 5:18 pm

My mother goes away for one night and the house becomes infested with spiders... you've got to be fucking kidding me!!!
“Eyes that do not cry, do not see”
~ Swedish Proverb
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Postby meadow » Thu Jun 21, 2007 5:19 pm

yikes. just remember they kill mosquitoes and other bitey bugs!!!!
"i hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out, you selfish son of a bitch!" ~Wedding Crashers
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Postby bea » Sat Jun 23, 2007 3:10 pm

My tv and digibox seem unable to communicate wth each other effectively meaning i can either have the BBC's or the 4's. I want both. Its the 21C for christs sake - you've got to be fuckin kidding me!!!

AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I HATE TV
“Eyes that do not cry, do not see”
~ Swedish Proverb
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Postby Makinamess » Sat Jun 23, 2007 3:20 pm

Bea - unplug everything and then replug it all in again - sounds like a loose connection to me ! (some of these darned scart leads are seriously heavy and can easily become disconnected)

Failing that, just ditch the tv..... :lol:
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Postby solana » Sat Jun 30, 2007 11:50 am

There are actually people who think they can justify leaving an infant or small child alone ..
and I just cannot understand it.
.fcv/v"
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Postby solana » Sat Jun 30, 2007 11:55 am

Oh and another.... I came home from food shopping, to find the teacher in the room where I work
parked in my space waiting to pop in for a visit...

On the first weekend that I deceided not to do the floor and clean more than a touch up
and just enjoy my down time ....

and that was exactly what went through my mind when I saw her... You have got to be f*ckin' kidding me!!!!!
.fcv/v"
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Postby Sarah » Sat Jun 30, 2007 2:20 pm

My 20 year old cousin is engaged and has just moved in with her fiance. I had assumed that she would be moving into an apartment or something, but no... my "perfect" cousin and her successful, cute, firefighter husband-to-be not only have a nice sized house, oh no... they have 3 dogs, a bunch of cows and an entire FARM! You've got to be f**kin kidding me!
Hope for the best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.
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Postby bea » Sun Jul 01, 2007 6:42 pm

No smoking in my country anywhere - you've got to be fucking kidding me :evil: ( i feel this may be a recurring post)
“Eyes that do not cry, do not see”
~ Swedish Proverb
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