dress codes

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Postby threenorns » Wed Aug 01, 2007 12:01 am

if a man wants to rape a woman, he WILL and there is not a lot she can do.

trust me, meadow: you were lucky. he took off when you screamed, so he was a common-or-garden pervert. had he been a psychopath, your scream would've been cut short pretty quick when he snapped your neck or crushed your hyoid.

your body language doesn't say you are confident and can take care of yourself if you come off like you do in here - it says piss off, moron, and who wants to approach someone like that?

anyhow, rape is all about power and control and how the woman dresses has ZERO to do with it when you factor in the staggeringly high numbers of rapes taking places in jails, hospitals, mental institutions, and geriatric care facilities.

every item of clothing is a dress code. we dress for the same reason gibbons have blue bottoms and birds have feathers. we send signals - "hey, look at me!", "hey - i'm lonely! talk to me!", "hey - i'm horny!", "hey - i'm 36 and my biological clock is going crazy!", "hey - watch my parents freak!", "hey - you - piss off", "hey - i don't know what to do with myself", "i'm depressed", "i'm rich", "i want you to thik i'm rich", "look at me crosswise and i'll cut your throat" - the permutations are endless.

in a perfect world, clothing would be intended for warmth and artistic purposes.

the reality is, that just ain't gonna happen.
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Postby Silke » Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:02 am

:D
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Postby solana » Wed Aug 01, 2007 6:13 am

You sure can turn a phrase three.....

I pretty much agree with what you have said...

I agree that meadow was lucky that her attacker was not a psycho.. and that is what saved her...thank goodness.

Every attack on every woman can not be gouged by that... or any other attack on another person..
each attack .. each circumstance is different.. Each person is different as well....
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Postby pilvikki » Wed Aug 01, 2007 8:43 am

but the fact that rape is about power, not sex, still stands.

which means that dressing provocatively will arouse a psycho's rage, not lust, and he'll want to punish her for looking the way she does. so could the fact that she's out after dark, wears a watch, has a blue dress on, is a redhead etc.
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Postby solana » Wed Aug 01, 2007 9:37 am

it does P

it does, stand
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Postby meadow » Wed Aug 01, 2007 10:58 am

well considering he was, in fact, a psychopath...i don't consider myself lucky. i fought back and luckily it was the scream that worked. i'm well able to defend myself especially at that time. i was very strong and there isn't anything i wouldn't have done to fight back and kick his ass as much as possible. he would have have to snap my neck in my sleep because the second he laid a hand on me i went off. and most men, psychopath or not, have a tendency to hear an ear shattering scream centimeters from their ear canal and run. unless he's going to wear earplugs? seriously, i doubt he would have had the chance to do much more than the bullshit he tried. and i succeeded and he died in prison exactly where he belonged.

what you know about me and my body langauge is exactly zero. so keep those assumptions where they belong...i don't want anyone to approach me. particularly people i don't know! why would i want some strange person randomly invading my space?!!? yeah, no thanks i'll pass on having creepy men hitting on me while i'm out at the library or waiting for the bus. i mean WTF? spare me. you might enjoy randomly gross dudes popping their eyes out in appreciation of you but i don't. i'll continue to keep my guard up because i know it prevents a lot of unnecessary drama.
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Postby threenorns » Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:40 pm

i'm sorry, but re-read your last paragraph and then explain to my slow mind again how much you dislike drama, unnecessary or otherwise.

attitude, clothing, hairstyle, jewellry, accessories - *everything* is chosen for a purpose, consciously or not. you have a whole host of conscious messages but you're sending out a whole boatload of unconscious messages so stop getting your knickers in a knot every time someone calls you on them.
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Postby meadow » Wed Aug 01, 2007 3:07 pm

:sleep: :sleep: :sleep:


uh...oh. i'm sorry, were you talking again?

:sleep:
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Postby threenorns » Wed Aug 01, 2007 6:45 pm

.... and she's still here!
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Postby meadow » Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:37 pm

sadly, so are you. :(
"i hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out, you selfish son of a bitch!" ~Wedding Crashers
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Postby Silke » Thu Aug 02, 2007 6:06 am

if threen has a easy time reading people, anyones language is enugh to get the picture of bodylanguage. It is conected.

The man probably was a psycopath; or might not be. Point is you caught him unaweare; the next girl that sceams he´ll probably stop before she comes close enugh to hurt him that way...

threen wrote:if a man wants to rape a woman, he WILL and there is not a lot she can do


That might be one of the few things I dissagree with. There are more trying than succseeding, thank whatever that needs to be thanked.
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Postby meadow » Thu Aug 02, 2007 12:25 pm

Silke: the man was caught, had his day in guilt, admitted his guilt and was sentenced to serve 16 years in State Prison. he was 52 at the time and he died at some point during his sentence. i just wish it would have been at the end of a "shiv" [aka homemade knife used in prisons to kill others.] or some way violent.

i don't agree with the idea that if a man wants to rape, he will. you can fight him off! that's the whole point of self-defense. even if he succeeded...at least you know you tried to fight his ass off. there are plenty of ways to detour attackers and fight them off successfully. you read about it in the news how women fight men off quite often. it's completely possible and absolutely can happen. i know any man that thinks they are going to violate me? he better be ready to kill me first because that is exactly what he'd have to do. and that won't happen without a big fight and me wonkin' him with a baseball bat. or whatever i can find handily if i'm not in my bedroom or home.
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Postby Flawless » Thu Aug 02, 2007 1:15 pm

I approve of dresscodes that allow you to choose what clothes you where but the ones that are a pair of khakis with a red or blue polo shirt with the top button undone is just going to far.
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