Too old or not.

Topics related to family affairs.

Too old or not.

Postby Sandra » Mon Apr 02, 2007 3:32 pm

I know someone that is 51yrs old and is 2 months pregnant, is this to old to have a child?

In your opinion what age is too old to have a child?
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Postby pilvikki » Mon Apr 02, 2007 10:29 pm

jeeesus, what kind of idiocy is that? i takes stamina to have and run after kids. of course one advantage would be that as you age your hearing will diminish and the teen tunes won't bother you so much...

personally i think the cut off date is around 30.

why?

just think of dealing with teens's hormones, while you're going through menopause and hubby's dawdling about with andropause. it would be murder...
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Postby Sandra » Tue Apr 03, 2007 12:54 am

pilvikki wrote:jeeesus, what kind of idiocy is that? i takes stamina to have and run after kids. of course one advantage would be that as you age your hearing will diminish and the teen tunes won't bother you so much...
:lol:

This is very true pivlikki, you need alot of energy to have and look after children, just my personal experience :D
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Postby AJRC_CS » Tue Apr 03, 2007 1:27 am

That is way to old. Imagine the poor kid, by the time they're in their teens the mother will be 64! People will think she's the child's grandmother not mother. I'm all for medical advances but some things are just wrong.
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Postby pilvikki » Tue Apr 03, 2007 7:02 pm

my b-i-l was born when his father was 63, last of a long line of kids. his mother was some 20 yrs his junior. it took 40 yrs for him to actually learn to appreciate his father's wisdom in many [other] things, but not everybody can count on living until nearly a 100.
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Postby meadow » Wed Apr 04, 2007 8:58 am

that's way too old to be a good parent to a child. i'm 35 and i already know that i'm too old to be chasing after some baby! i care for an 8 year old girl and that tires me out like no other job. and i don't fall for that line of crap that it's different when it's your own.

there is a reason that women go through menopause. there is a reason why egg production slows up after a certain age. the Universe is trying to tell people to quit f'ing around with things and leave some of them be. one of them is not letting a 51 year old spawn some kid out.
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Postby ohlia » Sat Apr 07, 2007 4:09 pm

I think people have children at an old age without realizing the consequences it would have on them the parents especially.
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Postby Skinjob » Sat Apr 07, 2007 6:22 pm

Have the kids, raise them, and get them out of the house by the time you are in your early forties. It's not the energy, it's the bullshit one goes through raising them.

You need a break by the time you are forty or so; and you need to have time to spend doing things with your wife or husband while you still have the energy.

I love my kids, but I know that kids don't help keep a marriage together; they stress it; and suck the life out of you with bills, illnesses, social problems, and all the other baggage that goes with it.

Of course some people thrive on big families with lots of kids. But, don't count on it unless you are certain that you and your spouse can handle it.
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Postby Silke » Sun Apr 08, 2007 2:42 am

I feel sorry for the kids... think about it. By the time the kids finish school and starts higher education (do they go that way), their parents are well retiered. by the time they are finished education and just has had a taste of life they are drawn back to the house to help poor, old, sick mother... no thanks, at that age I would abort!
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Postby Lore » Sun Apr 08, 2007 10:03 am

I think a lot depends on circumstances, for me, I thought I'd had my family, even though the marriage failed I still had it in my head I wouldn't have any more children.
Then I met my now, fiance - he didn't have any children and right from the start of the relationship we'd talked about children because we both knew he wanted to be a daddy at some point in his life. I had to make the decision. have another child or walk away? The thought of having another baby filled me with happiness but at the same time I was a complete and utter wreck worrying about how I would cope with being 33.
Well, I had my beautiful daughter Ava and I don't think I'm too old, we've talked about having one more as Ava is so much younger than my three she'll be like an only child (along with other reasons) but I'm determined it has to happen before I reach 36 - 37 any older than that, forget it!!

One of my friends is 41 and is trying for her first child. Personally I think that's too old to start a family but not to continue a family.

51 years old? how would a 10 year old ask his/her mummy & daddy to play footy with them @60 odd?

I guess we all find a way of coping and making the best of a situation.
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Postby pilvikki » Sun Apr 08, 2007 4:51 pm

33 is a far cry from 51... 18 yrs. my mother was 35 and things were fine until she hit menopause [which they had no "cure" for] with just horrid results.
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Postby Sarah » Mon Apr 09, 2007 7:22 am

I don't know. I did a study on parenting and the advantages/disadvantages of having children at all sorts of ages, and the older parents I interviewed and the children of older parents I interviewed did not have any regrets. Sure it's got to be difficult to run around after children once you hit a certain age, but some 51 year old women are in better shape than young people I know, so I don't think that's reason enough to not have children. I personally wouldn't want to have children at 51, but if it was have them as an older woman or not at all, I'd choose the former.

Then again, there are the health risks to consider...
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Postby Valleysailor » Tue May 15, 2007 11:41 am

I know I wouldn't be wanting a child at that age. Hell, I don't even want GRANDchildren at that age!! :shock:
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Postby sassie » Wed Jun 27, 2007 8:21 am

I am 51 and I think I would take the bridge .. Not for me ...that is too old .. chances are you wont be around to see you child graduate from college let alone see their kids grow up. But I have to say I have way, way more patience now that I am older that's one plus..
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Postby brandtrn » Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:57 am

As to what age is "too old" to be having children, I imagine that this varies from person to person. Personally, I feel that I, at age 45, am far "too old" to be making any more babies, and I think if I were to find myself pregnant now, I'd probably slit my own throat! Raising babies is a job for the young and energetic...
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Postby threenorns » Mon Jul 16, 2007 10:29 pm

um....


well, i think i'm in a unique position to answer this one, being as i had a child in my late teens, a child in my early twenties, and a child shortly after i turned forty.

it's too late when you don't want to have one. period.

physically, this pregnancy was hell because of toxemia - but then, i had to be on bed rest when i was 19, too, and i had gestational diabetes with my second one. but this time around, i actually followed doctor's instructions (more respect for authority).

weight gain - ugh - but i only gained 40lbs (*exactly* my goal, on the dot) with this one, while i gained 65 with the first and 85 with the second (more self-discipline).


delivery - induced with all three but the first lasted three days, the second lasted three hours and with the last one, things went horribly wrong and i had to go induced au naturel - not a drug pusher in sight.

all in all - i like being a parent more now that i'm older. i was always on the verge of panic or numb from the neck up with the other two. i also had a habit of putting other things ahead of the kids and i know now that that's just wrong.
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Postby meadow » Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:28 am

yes but 40 isn't 51! there's a REASON that women have trouble getting pregnant and having children the older they get. it's Nature's way of saying "hey! no more kids!"

but many choose to be selfish and not listen to what Mother Nature has deemed necessary for the continuation of life.

there's a reason why getting pregnant at an older age is a huge risk..for the mother and the baby. that's why there is a much larger chance of birth defects and things of that type.

it's because Mother Nature is trying to tell people to quit trying to do what's not meant to happen! that's what menopause is put here for! that's why the body changes to make it harder for older women to get pregnant. it's because it shouldn't be going on.

but of course, i expect to bingo'd for this opinion. that's okay. i'm used to it.
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Postby pilvikki » Tue Jul 17, 2007 9:49 am

well, does anyone listen to Mother, be it mother nature or one's parent mother?

of course not.

some people just don't grow up, no matter how old.

is this 51 year old expecting to live ad infinitum? she may look 30 or 40 now, but give her 10 yrs or so and she'll start looking more and more like her own mother. she'll have health problems, her memory will start to suffer.... "i have a kid...? where did i put it?"
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