Pleasing Your Parents

Topics related to family affairs.

Pleasing Your Parents

Postby Yogi » Sat May 12, 2007 5:52 am

Have you lived up to your parents' expectations?
Does that sort of thing matter to you?
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.
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Postby meadow » Sat May 12, 2007 6:57 am

no, i'm sure i haven't lived up at all to my father's expectations. but i don't really care since it's not his life but my life. i'm a good person so i don't worry too much what anyone else thinks.

i've never really cared what my family thinks about me, my life or my choices. they aren't me and they don't have to live my life.
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Postby ohlia » Sat May 12, 2007 8:04 pm

Yes, I believe I have lived up to their expectations. I love and respect my parents, and I always listen to what they have to say. It matters to me very much that I do the things that make them proud, and happy with me. I still ask for their opinions and sometimes advise on certain matters. They feel good knowing that I still need them.
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Postby Silke » Mon May 14, 2007 12:04 pm

My mothers at least, and that is all I care about. Her expectations is that I shall be independent, true to myself and like what I do...
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Postby Makinamess » Mon May 14, 2007 12:41 pm

Hehe I think I far exceeded my parent's expectations of me ! My father was against me having any sort of further education after age 16 as he was convinced *I would only go and get married and have a million kids* ..... he fully expected me to get a job as a shop assistant in Woolie's. Not surprisingly, I left home as soon as I was able, ended up with a degree, a good job, I own my own house and car, no debts etc etc. What he could not see is that everyone should have access to further education if they want it and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with having children and bringing them up - yikes, they are the future generation after all - an educated parent will (hopefully) result in educated children....
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Postby meadow » Tue May 15, 2007 8:16 am

now to clarify when i state that i don't care what my family ultimately thinks about me and my choices that doesn't mean i don't take advice from them. or to heart. i love and respect my father [and my mother most of all when she was alive.] more than anyone else.

i have been beyond blessed with having parents who realized how independent and smart i was and encouraged that. my parents have never really put any kind of overt expectations on me like get married, have kids, etc. they just want me to be happy which is the hardest thing of all to accomplish.

but i talk to my father at least 3 times a week. when life hands me lemons...before making lemonade [or a refreshing vodka lemon drop.] i tend to call my father and talk to him first. i might not do what he feels i should be but he doesn't base his approval on me on things like doing what he feels i should.

he doesn't have to approve of me and my choices to love me. i know that my father loves me no matter what i might say or do. and that is enough for me!
"i hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out, you selfish son of a bitch!" ~Wedding Crashers
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Postby Valleysailor » Tue May 15, 2007 11:39 am

I think, were my parents still alive, they would be very proud of who I am and what I have done. I have a nice family, a comfortable home, a job I love, friends who love me and colleagues who respect me. None of it came easy, but through hard work and long hours and dedication to being the best person I could be. I don't think they would have expected more.
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Postby bea » Tue May 15, 2007 12:41 pm

I don't think my parents ever had expectations of me. they just wanted me to be happy, well rounded and a good person. which i intrinsically am

However, after a very shaky start, i have pulled myself together (sort of - outwardly at least) and can pay my bills, have just got a degree (i think) and have a relatively positive outlook. so if they had expectations that i would be able to conform to the social ideal of a good child (education, morals, not a psycho) then i think i have lived up to them.
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Postby spithray » Tue May 15, 2007 2:20 pm

My Mum just wants us (me and my 2 bros) to do as well as we can at stuff and I think we're doing alright so far. My Dad, on the other hand, likes to have one to complain about. Never more than one at a time and he never has a break. My older brother has been getting it for a while cos my little bro is highly successful and loaded and I've been back at uni getting good marks for everything. He's still proud of us and encourages us when necessary; he just likes to complain about stuff.
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Postby legend » Wed May 16, 2007 5:25 pm

im a disappointment im sure .but hell i gave it my best shot at the time so what else can i say.thats life folks. :biggrin:
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Postby Sarah » Tue Jun 26, 2007 5:48 am

For me it's my mom and grandma's expectations that matter, and I think I'm living up to them... so long as I graduate from college with good grades (and find a job) I think I will have made them damn proud. My mom just wants me to be happy and well-rounded, but for my grandma it's more about success ... I try, I try.

and Legend, if it counts for anything, you've lived up to MY expectations, sport. :tongue:
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Postby brandtrn » Wed Jun 27, 2007 10:16 am

Quite honestly, I've never thought high school, my grades were never quite good enough, my friends weren't good enough, my interests were too "shallow and superficial," etc., etc., etc. When I married and had children, I was a disappointment once again when my youngest child was 2 years old -- because I returned to the workforce, and pursued my nursing career with a vengeance. "Good" mothers, after all, were supposed to stay home with their children. I was a disappointment once again when I divorced my children's father. My mother's been dead these past 21 years, but I'd given up on living up to my father's expectations a good long time ago. Imagine my surprise then, when at my youngest daughter's high school graduation this month, my Dad got rather sentimental, telling me that I'd raised a couple of "awesome" human beings, and that I've done "a damned good job." He went on to tell me how proud he was of me, and I must say, since I was already shedding some sentimental tears during the graduation ceremony, his remarks REALLY turned on my waterworks!

And yes, even at my old age, having my Daddy's approval means a great deal to me.
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