Superman Returns

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Superman Returns

Post by jakimbro »

Superman Returns: a movie review

Five years ago scientists on Earth spied what they thought was the planet Krypton and Superman flew away from our world to investigate it. He found in his words "only a graveyard out there..." and returned to Earth a little wiser and a lot more lonely for being the only surviving member of his race.

In his haste to leave, Superman told no one where he was going, or if he was even going to return. Now he pays a penalty for his nefariousness when he discovers that his old enemy Lex Luthor was freed from prison because Superman missed the court trial date and didn't testify against Lex.

He also made no attempt to safeguard the Fortress of Solitude against burglars.

And since Superman didn't say good-bye to Lois Lane; she decided he was a no good bum. And she shacks up with Perry White's nephew and has a kid. She in fact is so bitter about the breakup that she writes an op-ed piece "Why we don't need a Superman" and wins a Pulitzer for it.

And that's really the plot of the movie. Its not Lex Luthor and his latest scheme for world conquest. Its the Lois- Clark-Superman love triangle that plagued the comics and then the movies, since Superman began back in 1938. Except the writers of this movie don't know all that and apparently never read a Superman comic book.

Everyone knows that Lois and Superman are true lovers.Like Tristan and Isolde, Lancelot and Gweneviere, Romeo and Juliet. Superman would never leave without saying goodbye- or taking Lois with him... and Lois would never just 'move on' and forget him. He's Superman. Everyone knows that but the writers of this movie- and thats why- no matter how great the dialogue, the special effects or the musical score- it falls flat and seems false. It just isn't like the Man of Steel to say "wham-bam-thank you ma'am".

I'm not even sure what they were trying to accomplish? The whole rewriting of Lois' and Superman's relationship turned what could have been a first class adventure film into a tawdry second rate romance. With explosions and a guy in tights. Its a guy movie that turned half way into a chick flick. But not even women could get involved in the very vague relationship that Lois and Superman have hammered out for themselves by the movie's dreary end. Superman's 'still around'; Lois is still not involved- and there is NOW a son to consider..(Hello? Does anyone ever read Superman comics? Superman having sex with Lois Lane would KILL her.)

To say that I'm bitterly disappointed by this movie is very accurate. Lex Luthor is excellant as always as a villain. But he uses the plot of the first Superman movie AGAIN. And he's not he only Superman villain you know. I'd like to have seen Brainiac or Mr. Mxyzptlk as well.

Wikipedia has a whole list: Other enemies of note include the demon Satanus, the Ultra-Humanite, the imperfect Superman clone Bizarro, criminal cyborg Metallo, Kryptonian criminal General Zod (imprisoned in the Phantom Zone for his crimes), the Parasite, the Prankster, the Cyborg Superman, Terra-Man, the Toyman, Composite Superman, Gog, and the Metropolis gang known as Intergang.

The special effects are joyful- but with 25 years of CGI since the first movie back in 1978- you know the special effects will be state of the art. Anything less would be an insult to the Superman legacy. And I was very glad they kept the music from the old movies. That theme music always makes my heart leap and makes me want to fly.

So I judge this movie thusly: if you really don't know much about Superman or care and if you just want a pompous movie with a lot of special effects- then this is for you. But if you're a Superman fan, and you were expecting a return to the old days of the Man of Steel. Forget it. It will leave you gnashing your teeth in frustration. :roll:
Jerry Kimbro
<i>By Crom!</i>